PHE (Public Health England) to rebrand as Public Health United Kingdom (PHUK in “PR Gaff of the Year”)
I think this is an April Fool's joke but it still funny... -AK
LONDON, ENGLAND, APRIL 1st, 2014
Exactly one year to the day after the UK’s Health Protection Agency rebranded to “Public Health England”, the agency has announced it is to change its name again – to Public Health UK, or “PHUK”.
Amid raised eyebrows from government insiders – who have labelled the £500mn marketing initiative as “PR Gaff of the Year” – senior PHUKers firmly rejected claims that the new name would further call Britain’s public health policy into question.
Speaking from her isolated second-home in Anglesey, Baroness Whitewash, the Parliamentary Undersecretary for PHUK, said that the move was “justified”.
“PHUK’s former focus on England fell short of our core aim – which is to leave no part of the UK unaffected by PHUK public health policy. If we do not incorporate all stripes of the flag, we leave our policies open to unfavourable cross-referencing by independent, non-industry epidemiologists – and that could undermine confidence in PHUK public health competence and policy.”
The rebrand is being announced alongside a string of other new measures which, combined, PHUK hopes will help to ensure that the health of everyone in the UK is placed firmly in its cross-hairs.
One new initiative, called “PHUK You”, is being introduced as part of David Cameron’s drive to introduce an “Internet of Things” that will not just place everyday objects, products and services online, but will also finally connect people directly to the web through the introduction of telemedicine and human microchipping – an intergenerational, trans-millennial aim.
“The BBC, Channel 5, Hollywood and now schools are doing a first-rate job of readying the population for dial-in (and dial-down) facilities to the human body through invasive RFID-chip technology. We want to seize that momentum, to ensure that we can track people in realtime – all of the time – to help them as they gradually become more ill. It’s a social-engineering, nudge-policy triumph.”